Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Bruised Wine

Recently my stomach turned upside down, then my heart flipped over and fluttered as he walked in the door and I wondered “what the . . .?” and then I knew. I knew I was in trouble.

I don’t want to feel this way, but I do.

Days of trying to talk myself out of it have gone by and yet my heart still floats as I recall the smiling face that made my insides dance and sway.

I don’t want to feel this way, but I do.

Try though I might to bury it deep by ignoring it, or purge it out through tears hoping it will wash away, it remains. It remains but with the added bonus of pain . . . the sensation, the feeling is not returned.

I don’t want to feel this way, but I do.

I watch in pain as the affection is given to another, I feel sick and teary eyed for entirely different reasons. My stomach turns again, not with delight.

I most assuredly do NOT want to feel this way, but I do.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, you brought back really painful memories...thanks?! Seriously, great post, we've all been there!!

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  2. Interesting to come home and find a comment on this "hidden" blog. I posted it last night with no blog alert, just wanted it to have life, but wasn't sure if I wanted it shared or not. I was thinking about deleting it but as it's been seen and read it does have life now. It will stay. Painful indeed, very painful.

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