Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Shoulder Seasons

Gonna take a trip to Laredo, gonna take a dip in the lake. Oh, I'm at a crossroads with myself, I don't got no one else. Possibilities at the door, I won't be needing them anymore. Oh, is this the first time in your life it's hard just to get by?

-Band of Horses

I hate spring and fall. There, I said it. I HATE SPRING AND FALL. I hate them because I am an all or nothing kinda girl, I have little patience for things that are half assed. I don't like half assed relationships (piss or get off the pot). I don't like leaving events early just to miss traffic on the way home (if you've committed to it then you've committed to all of it including traffic so make the best of it), I don't like black eyed peas without cornbread (who does that?). If you're doing something then be a Jet and be a Jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day.

That's why I hate the shoulder seasons. Winter is beautiful, the snow is pristine and the world is full of quiet beauty. Winter is snowboarding and snowshoeing and long walks while the snow falls and warm sweaters and Bailey's Irish Cream in your coffee. Winter is a time to nest and snuggle.

Summer is freaking awesome! Sundresses with flip flops, all day every day. Everytime I walk outside and feel the sun on my face it feels like a big hug from Mother Nature. Summer is a time to take a nap outside and plant living things and ride my bike and eat salted watermelon. Summer is a time to be languid and oozy and drape yourself across a porch swing while saying "Sugah lamb, will you pour me some more lemonade? And bring mama a nice cold beer to chase it down with".

Winter is cold. Summer is hot. Spring and Fall are iffy and non-committal. I can't stand iffy and non-committal. You don't know what you're getting. There is the hope that something good this way comes, but hope doesn't always amount to much. And how long does hope expect you and me to wait around before we say "screw you, I've got other places to be and the bus is pullin' up".


So this brings me to getting what one wants in life. I have set an intention on what I want in my life. In looking back on a situation recently experienced I can see, with the clarity of hindsight, that while I have had a goal, I only had the goal, not the means to reach this goal. Without smaller milestones along the way and without focus I addled off into a realm that could have been, and should have been, avoided. I only had wishful thinking, not a path of intent and vision. I have never much bothered with baby steps in attaining what I want because they are not the big finish. Now, however, I am learning the value of the path, the value of its equal parts of pain and pleasure, and the lessons that both bring.

Often times we can get so focused on what we want, we fail to see when the ship is sinking. Life will bring us all what is best, and so many times we fight it. We push and push and push for something so crazy wrong for us until it blows up into something that, akin to Humpty Dumpty, can't be put back together again . . .

and that's ok.

As C.S. Lewis tells us, there are far far better things ahead than any we leave behind. Sometimes it's hard to believe, but give it some time, it's true. Setting an intention can be sticky, because it requires focus but also, an equal amount of letting go and allowing life to bring its greatness to you. What if you want to be the CEO of Oracle and you push so hard for that you don't leave yourself open to being the CEO of Apple? Have a vision, have focus, have clarity and intention and fortitude, plant that seed and if tulips bloom instead of gladiolas, don't be sad-iola. (insert your eyeball rolling here). Or hell, be sad-iola, that's ok, and then move on and love your beautiful tulips.

So, do spring and fall suck? Well, they're not my favorite BUT, spring beckons us to plant and be outside and shed the layer of cold. Fall brings football and the excitement of change. In my life I am opening myself to the beauty of what life brings randomly on my chosen path that doesn't feel random. Make plans, and then be open to the curves those plans will take. Know who you are. Know what you will accept. Know what you will not accept. Let others be who they are, it's ok if it doesn't align with who you are, they are on their own path just as you are on yours.

Don't go changin' . . .

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